I was listening to a mum speaking about her child and most of what she said were negative. How the child does not listen to her, comparing him with his siblings and how better behaved they were. How he has a mind of his own and on and on she went.
At a point, I stopped her and asked her to tell me the good things she sees in her son. She stopped, looked at me like I just spoke a foreign language so I repeated myself. She found it difficult at first but by the time she mentioned two things, she began to see her son in a positive perspective.
Here are 5 things to do in seeing children in a positive light:
- Write down the strengths of your child/children: Writing down or focusing on a child’s strength erases the negative you see in him or her.
- See yourself in your child: remembering your childhood can help see your child in a positive light and how your parents also corrected you as a child.
- Correct the negative in love: Parent get confused with this. This is about not condemning your child. Rather let them understand there are certain things and behaviour that are unacceptable, which can put them or other around them in danger.
- Praise: this is never too much for children. When you remember, praise your child. Is it for carrying the shopping, doing their homework on time, voluntarily reading a book, helping with the chores or even giving you a hug. Say “thank you” or “well done” because as parents, we unconsciously focus on what they have not done.
- Have a chat and be playful: this help solidify the parent child relationship, enhance trust and focus on making the family unit happy.