5 Things A Woman Should Do While Having Children

1. Learn to Drive

Especially in a cosmopolitan town/city with inadequate public transportation. I believe women that have children and do not drive have extra special powers. For a woman with young children, driving is a necessity and not a luxury.

2. Be Economically Viable

Great that maternity leave payment, zero or work contract hours, and in some cases, government supported payment can help support women financially. Learning a skill or trade can contribute to keeping the cash flow coming in. There is always something to buy when you are out with your child or yourself. The internet is full of cash flow opportunities for women, however, ensure it is a genuine stream of income. It can be time to sharpen that passion or skill you have and make it financially viable.

3. Develop Professionally

This is called CPD, continuing professional development. When the child/ren are all of school age, what happens to you professionally? It is never too late to continue or start a new profession.

4. Positive Mind Feeding

Women tend to have low self-esteem, depression or psychosis during this period. Reading a book can help elevate this. Romantic or motivational books are suggestions as it feeds emotion positively and helps release feel good hormones. Also doing something you enjoy or a challenging task, when accomplished, can contribute to release these positive hormones.

5. Liaise with Professionals

Majority of professionals working with a woman while raising children are there to help and offer positive support to the family. Use these professionals to your advantage. We are glad for the World Wide Web but these individuals have gone through rigorous educational process and have hands on experiences that can be taped into to benefit you and your family.

Advertisements

Torn Earlobe from Participating in Physical Education!

Pic: Pixabay

In my almost two decades of being in childcare education, I have not come across a child having torn earlobe from participating in physical education in the UK. My aim on this topic is to bring a balance equation from both a professional and parent perspective. Research shows no incident or accidents of pupils wearing earrings or studs has occurred during physical activity or swimming. I will be glad to be proven wrong, and the evidence based on a real ratio. The keyword such as ‘Serious accidents have occurred as a result of contact between pupils wearing earrings or studs’are included in school policies and educational establishments., but none on a real accident that occurred. It bothers me that the same swimming pool the public swims is the same pool our children’s activity takes place. The public is not told to take off their earring before swimming, just a thought. In a nursery school setting, I can understand toddlers pulling other toddlers earring, which can result to torn earlobe. However, a more realistic explanation should be provided as to why children in most UK primary schools are being instructed not to wear stud earring.

The Department of Education suggests that ‘Common sense should be used in assessing and managing the risks of any activity.’ Some UK schools have lost common sense when it comes to the health and safety of children activities. The UK Health and Safety website supports this on pages 9-11 of their newsletter.

Pic: Pixabay

Parents are baffled as to why this rule exist and have asked questions on various parenting forums on if a child has being hurt from wearing stud earring. As a parent, I have experienced this too, thou the earring was the tiniest nose stud. I believe it is more unhygienic to keep having the earring taken in and out of the ears due to an infection transferred from day to day hand germs. As a childcare professional I understand rules of risk assessment are put in place to prevent any litigation. However these rules have to be based on common sense, cultural diversity and respect for the choice of parents for their children.

The Act of Skin Discrimination in Children

It is a well-known fact that children do not learn how to discriminate or do they identify with skin colour discrimination. Mostly, children under the age of five doing discriminate based on the colour of the skin. Specifically, children under the age of three years, do not know what colour discrimination is because they do not see the skin colour difference. It can be augured that this is based on a child growing up in a mixed and diverse environment of skin colour. This argument can also be built on a child who has not been groomed or reared to identify skin colour from a very young age.

How do children learn or pick up skin colour discrimination? Having worked with diverse children and families over the years, I can suggest that children learn skin discrimination consciously (directly) or unconsciously (indirectly) from their parents or selected career.

renny adejuwon|children mindChildren learn skin discrimination consciously from their parents/carers through:

  • Words: e.g. ‘why are you playing with that black child?’ ‘Do not play with that child, you are different and do not look like them.’
  • Actions: e.g. not inviting the brown skin children to birthday parties or not going to the white skin children birthday parties.

Children learn skin discrimination unconsciously from their parents/carers through:
Listening to adult conversations; e.g., ‘I do not want to send my child to that school because they have a majority of black children.’ ‘I don’t know why the school is taking in more ethnic minority children. They have come to take over.’ Watching how their parents react to adult with different ethnic background: e.g. excluding them from school events, ignoring them in a group conversation, wanting to shut them up or down during conversations, indicating their contribution is not important or relevant.

A conversation took place between a mother and her 10-year-old son:

SON: my friend told me I was treated badly by my teacher.
MUM: what do you mean?
SON: my friend say’s my teacher was racist towards me because he chooses only the Caucasian children to play for the football team.
MOTHER: that does not mean he is racist. Have you been chosen to play for the school football team before?
SON: Yes
MOTHER: so your teacher is giving other children the opportunity to play for the school team. Of cause, some people will treat you differently, brown skin or Caucasian, but be aware that people are either good or bad not the colour of their skin.
SON: my class teacher is white, and she treats me nice and is fair.
MOTHER: you see, it is the person that matters not the colour of the skin. There are brown skin people, who also badly treat other people.

The conversation above could have been so different between the mother and her son. The mother had the opportunity to teach an entirely different seed of thought into her son, but instead, she gave a balanced approach to human behaviour rather than the colour of the human skin.

skin discriminationIn the movie 42, there was a scene where one of the characters, Pee Wee Reese, thanked the main character, Jackie Robinson, for helping get over his bias of skin colour discrimination. This scene took place in one of the many baseball stadiums used in the movie. However, on this occasion, a boy was sitting in the crowd with his daddy. When the dad and the crowd started chanting racist words towards the main character, who is the only brown skin player of the baseball team, the boy just copied his father. The character Pee Wee went on to hug Jackie Robinson and shook his hands. This action stopped some of the crowd from shouting out racist words. In particular, the boy’s face changed like he was thinking about his actions and why he copied his dad in the first instance.

This sense happens consciously or unconsciously in everyday life between parents and their children. If it is not challenged, it tends to grow and develop, and the seed of skin discriminations continues from one generation to the next. It still baffles me how a person can just be judged based on the colour of their skin; I do not get it. Watch your behaviour and your mouth around your children, as the saying goes, action speaks louder than words.

END NOTE: skin discrimination crosses ethnic, cultural or country boundaries.

Futile Makeup?

It has become a visible and known aspect of life to see children and early teenagers wearing make daily. Self-help videos of how to apply facial makeup can be found on the Internet on how to achieve the perfect eyebrow, lipstick or facial contouring. Over 10 years ago, the only place to get a professional make-up lesson was either in the photo studio or an in-shop makeup session. I must confess I have used these videos myself and found them useful but being an adult of my age makes all the difference. Some wear it to school while parents get upset when their children are informed not to wear makeup to school. They believe it is part of a daily routine of a teenage girl.

I, however, fail to differ. Facial makeup should be left until at least after secondary school when children are through the initial stage of puberty. The big fashion houses use youthful faces for their big campaign. This indicates that youthful beauty and radiance cannot be bought or exchanged and should be encouraged at this age. Not all parents believe or support that children and teenagers should be wearing facial makeup. However, some have been pressured into allowing this due to their children feeling peer pressure or wanting to feel part of the pack. I have come to realise it is easy to be part of the pack and not stand out from the pack. Parents and TeenDren that have been able to stand out positively from the pack are rewarded with better confident in themselves and feel in control of their lives. Naturally when some adolescents hit puberty, they might have acne. However, the best advice from dermatologists is to leave the skin to breathe and not covered under facial makeup. Facial make-up strives for perfection but we must remember to let adolescents understand that no one is perfect and no amount of makeup or surgery can change this. kids makeup, renny adejuwon, www.rennyadejuwon.com

Different reasons for wearing makeup:

  • Age/Maturity: for the same reason adolescents wear make-up, to look matured; adult wears makeup to look youthful and young. With the aim of the flawless look of youthfulness and reducing the look of maturity and age.
  • Scar: facial birthmark, surgical scar, wound scar or burn scar can allow for makeup to be worn. In these cases, it can help strengthen the confidence of the person with the scar.
  • Emotional Masking: wearing makeup can give the guise that everything is symphonized in an individual’s life. Sometimes it mask’s abuse, lack of confidence and low self-esteem. Individuals have been known to sleep with their makeup on or never seen without wearing makeup. It should be stressed this is not always the case.
  • Social Outing: I will say, 95% of women wear makeup for a social outing. For weddings, parties, events, ceremonies and any social outing that comes to mind. A woman that opts not to wear makeup to social outing is looked on as odd and out-of-place. The topmost richest women in the world are those in the beauty and makeup industry, work the maths out.
  • Confidence Building: as a makeup can be worn for emotional masking, it can also be worn for confidence building. Women in business or top management position have reported that the application of using a red lipstick has lifted how they felt working into a meeting, conference or presentation.

What am I saying? In my post there is time for everything, this situation fits in perfectly. Let your child enjoy the youthfulness of their beauty because the time will come when they will be wearing makeup. I remember not wearing makeup until I finished secondary school and was heading to university. My makeup application was only a lip gloss and I looked perfect. Do I still have days I don’t wear makeup? of course, I do. Those days help my facial skin to breathe and I feel liberated.

I believe this should be the case for adolescent and makeup should be introduced after secondary school. Such introduction can be a prom party, being a bridesmaid, beauty contest, modelling, acting or face painting. Children, teenagers and adolescents should be encouraged to be these. As I always say to my children “you will never be this current age again, so enjoy it.” I have started informing my daughter she will not be wearing makeup until she is 16 years old and over, God help me!

TeenDren: words combination of Teenager and Children