A child of mine worry’s about most things; about it being sunny when it’s meant to be dark or why the weather forecast indicates it should rain and it did not. When you observe any sad face or signs of worries on your child below are 5 statements/questions that can help:
‘Turn your frown upside down’.
What are you thinking of?
What will happen if what you are thinking does happen?
Who told you it would happen?
Why do you think it will then happen?
It should be said that children have different ways of processing, and some can do a better job at it than others. These steps may not be applicable or help all children that worry. The age and mental maturity of the child should also play a part in identifying how much support the child needs. As indicated, these are simple steps that can help with the everyday worrying child. The aim is for the child to learn how to talk, describe and analyse his/her feelings. For children with feelings and thoughts that need more structured support, it is essential to get the required professional assistance.
A text came from a parent at a point when I was questioning the support I gave to parents, whether solicited or not, was the right choice. I was reflective and having an inner battle within myself if parents found information shared useful. When conversations or discussion take place between parent and me, there is the nod of the head agreeing to what was discussed and a thank you here and there. However, this message was so different, why you ask?; because of the timing and the effort taken to write it out. Teachers, lecturers, councillors and educators tend not to request a display of appreciation. However, if parents feel the need to show appreciation to those that support or care for their child, it should be encouraged because that act might be what is needed to add that layer of confidence to the individual.
Appreciation is not just about praise and reward but also about acknowledging the contribution a person made to solve a problem. The act of appreciation is needed in every professional field both from management to member of staff, parents to teachers and vice versa. Yes, those in education should appreciate parents that make an effort to ensure children follow the rules, regulations, policies and procedures set out by the establishment. Because in today’s world parenting is a skill that requires creativity and patience to get the right result for individual children.
“Hey Renny, I just wanted to say thank you. Every time I have seen you recently we’ve had a good chat about children and you’ve always made me feel good. We’ve been through tough times with our child with what happened with the friend and finally feel like we are coming out the other side from a toxic friendship for both of us. Whenever I chat with you, I always feel like you understand and have the same views on parenting as me. Just want you to know I appreciate that.”
To the parent that inspired this, thank you for giving permission to share.
The word ‘intentional’ has been on my mind for several weeks. It means being deliberate, calculated or conscious. In the time, space and environment we presently live in, I believe as parents we have to be intentional towards our children; otherwise, several mundane things will take up our time. As I stroll through the different social media platforms, I see how easy it is to be distracted and allow what is visual govern the mind. You must make up your mind to:
Be intentional about speaking with your child.
Be intentional about listening to your child.
Be intentional about engaging with your child.
Be intentional about playing with your child.
Be intentional about being firm with your child.
Be intentional about showing love to your child.
Be intentional about the wellbeing of your child.
Be intentional about helping your child to learn.
Be intentional about being consistent with your child.
Be intentional about taking a family break with your child.
There are many distractions in society today, and this does not exempt the family. Severally, I have been approached to take on more demanding professional position. However, I weigh it against my work-life balance because I am intentional as a parent not to have the scale tip over. It is understandable that not everyone may be in a position to pick and chose when to make income; however, the ability to be intentional ensures we as parents give it a second thought before going ahead with a decision. Being a parent does not always come easy, but, the act of being intentional helps develop the culture of family principles and ethos that the children can later appreciate.
Especially in a cosmopolitan town/city with inadequate public transportation. I believe women that have children and do not drive have extra special powers. For a woman with young children, driving is a necessity and not a luxury.
2. Be Economically Viable
Great that maternity leave payment, zero or work contract hours, and in some cases, government supported payment can help support women financially. Learning a skill or trade can contribute to keeping the cash flow coming in. There is always something to buy when you are out with your child or yourself. The internet is full of cash flow opportunities for women, however, ensure it is a genuine stream of income. It can be time to sharpen that passion or skill you have and make it financially viable.
3. Develop Professionally
This is called CPD, continuing professional development. When the child/ren are all of school age, what happens to you professionally? It is never too late to continue or start a new profession.
4. Positive Mind Feeding
Women tend to have low self-esteem, depression or psychosis during this period. Reading a book can help elevate this. Romantic or motivational books are suggestions as it feeds emotion positively and helps release feel good hormones. Also doing something you enjoy or a challenging task, when accomplished, can contribute to release these positive hormones.
5. Liaise with Professionals
Majority of professionals working with a woman while raising children are there to help and offer positive support to the family. Use these professionals to your advantage. We are glad for the World Wide Web but these individuals have gone through rigorous educational process and have hands on experiences that can be taped into to benefit you and your family.
In my almost two decades of being in childcare education, I have not come across a child having torn earlobe from participating in physical education in the UK. My aim on this topic is to bring a balance equation from both a professional and parent perspective. Research shows no incident or accidents of pupils wearing earrings or studs has occurred during physical activity or swimming. I will be glad to be proven wrong, and the evidence based on a real ratio. The keyword such as ‘Serious accidents have occurred as a result of contact between pupils wearing earrings or studs’are included in school policies and educational establishments., but none on a real accident that occurred. It bothers me that the same swimming pool the public swims is the same pool our children’s activity takes place. The public is not told to take off their earring before swimming, just a thought. In a nursery school setting, I can understand toddlers pulling other toddlers earring, which can result to torn earlobe. However, a more realistic explanation should be provided as to why children in most UK primary schools are being instructed not to wear stud earring.
Parents are baffled as to why this rule exist and have asked questions on various parenting forums on if a child has being hurt from wearing stud earring. As a parent, I have experienced this too, thou the earring was the tiniest nose stud. I believe it is more unhygienic to keep having the earring taken in and out of the ears due to an infection transferred from day to day hand germs. As a childcare professional I understand rules of risk assessment are put in place to prevent any litigation. However these rules have to be based on common sense, cultural diversity and respect for the choice of parents for their children.