Children’s Emotional Intelligence.

Why do we play with the intelligence and innocence of childhood? Why force political agendas and social norms on children who are still trying to know and navigate around the world they live. Majority of children do not fully understand who or what they are and as educators, our job is to create the environment for development and growth.

In my many years of being in early years, I have always enjoyed child lead play, free play and mostly the pretend corner. Children become and take up roles that only they can think of. Sometimes boys can take up being a mother and father, and other times girls do the same. Psychology has shown that not because a child comes from a mixed-sex family unit does not mean the child will be in a mixed-sex relationship and not because a child comes from a same-sex family unit does not mean the child will be in a same-sex relationship. The majority of individuals in a same-sex relationship have been from a family unit that have opposite-sex parents, and the educational establishment had nothing to do with it. Children experiment, but that does not mean that is who they are. A child of reasonable age that kisses someone from the same sex for the first time should not be expected to be labelled or sexually instigated to feel a certain way. They are still discovering and identifying who they are.

When bombarded with information teenagers or adolescents tend to turn off, like they usually do. More teenagers/adolescents identify as bi-sexual rather than in a same-sex relationship, though they may not have had sex. They wonder why so much attention is given to same-sex relationship in schools if more identity as bi-sexual. As Psychology says, sexual experimenting is part of growing up; however, it does not confine the child. We are not to teach children to be sexual. Nature has taken care of this as it is natural for human beings to be sexual. The agender of reducing teenage pregnancy was so driven at one point that some statistics showed it was reduced. Adolescent girls were told they have rights over their body and given choices on how they wanted to deal with pregnancies. However, education was lacking on the future consequence of what can happen to the body when such decisions are taken. The most important word is ‘educate’. Let us continue to educate children rather than push forward agendas that play with the emotional intelligence of children.

As practitioners, we are not to force children or as some teenagers put it ‘brainwash’. We are to educate, observe children and encourage learning. With teenagers/adolescents we are to have discussions that will not make them feel like outsiders if they say something contrary to the political agenda. They get human rights more than we do and expect that individuals should be treated fairly with respect, but they also have thoughts, free will, belief, the environment and science that impact them. We need to stop this agenda driven scenarios and focus on the education of children. Children have free will and are affected by their environment; they do become adults and think on decisions. As educators our focus should be on making children better contributors in society, to have respect for the human race, foster that our differences make us stronger, respect the rule of law and good governance. Social and political agendas should not be forced on Children. It is not just or fair on them. The agenda should always be giving children the right to informed choices. If there is common law, why should we throw common sense out of the window?

What can affect a child’s sleep?

If you are wondering why your child is not going to sleep early at bedtime, have you thought of screen time? The shorter the time between screen time and going to bed, the longer the time it will take your child to go to sleep. The younger the child, the more delay in going to sleep.

Sometimes the content on the screen affects children’s sleep, making them toss and turn as they replay in their mind what was watched. Basically, this is different from physical activity but rather based on the amount of information the child has taken into their brain, cognition and mind.

If your young child is struggling to sleep early at bedtime, this is a thought for you to consider, and work towards correcting it by putting in strategies that will help. Remember, sleep is very important for the growing child, not to mention adults. It helps them to concentrate, focus better, less cranky, less tearful, less emotionally drained and less stressful.

To the empowered parent that is being successful. © renny adejuwon

Children Should Read Romantic Books At An Early Age

I have read a few romantic books in my life. Most especially as a girl child entering into my teenage years, Mills and Boon were my favourite romance books to read. I learnt a few things from reading these romantic books, most especially, for a growing teenage girl, the importance of friendship and romance in a relationship. Not all was learnt from romantic books and of cause I got some lessons from observing how my dad treated women and myself with respect. I will stress not all the Mills and Boon romance books are free from violence in the relationship (That is a story for another day). However, the majority, I will say 85% of them were based on how romance in a relationship is essential. These books in a way contributed in imprinting in me my expectation from boys and how I as a girl should be treated with respect and listened to.

Now fast-forward many years later, with being in a marriage and having a girl child on my own, I firmly believe a growing girl child, entering the double-digit years into being a teenager should be introduced to reading romantic books. Already, children from this age, if not earlier, will be having a crush on the opposite sex, which is part of growth, development, body change and emotional awareness. Most parents struggle to discuss or deal with this, even in this millennial century. Parents may not know what to say, how to say it, completely tell it the wrong way or do not want to talk about it at all. As noted in my earlier blog on what book is your child reading, books are essential in ensuring we as parents stay in communication with our children. The fact should not be denied that there will be sexual themes or act in these books. However, as parents we must face the fact that in today’s world there are more harmful things fighting for the attention of our children than a romantic book; which can help contribute to a foundation of what romance may look like, us taking the lead role in educating our girls by selecting or recommending the choice of books and helping to open the door of communication with our girl child.

Going back to romantic books, apart from releasing happy hormones, what can the girl child learn from it, and of cause we should not forget the boys. Some boys enjoy reading romantic books or movies, and this has nothing to do with sexuality.

ten things to learn from reading romantic books

Sexual impropriety is high, and with the age of social media, YouTube TV and mobile tablet device, this makes it more alarming. However, it not all sad news as more is being done to educate parents and children about staying safe from sexual abuse. This is an additional method to keep the safety net on and of cause encourage reading in our children. A suggested age to introduce the girl child to romantic books will be from the class age of year six, entering into secondary school.

Mills and Boon romantic books are fiction books and no payment was received for writing this blog. ©️renny adejuwon

My Worrying Child: 5 Steps to Help Your Child Worry Less

A child of mine worry’s about most things; about it being sunny when it’s meant to be dark or why the weather forecast indicates it should rain and it did not. When you observe any sad face or signs of worries on your child below are 5 statements/questions that can help:

  1.  ‘Turn your frown upside down’.
  2. What are you thinking of?
  3. What will happen if what you are thinking does happen?
  4. Who told you it would happen?
  5. Why do you think it will then happen?

It should be said that children have different ways of processing, and some can do a better job at it than others. These steps may not be applicable or help all children that worry. The age and mental maturity of the child should also play a part in identifying how much support the child needs. As indicated, these are simple steps that can help with the everyday worrying child. The aim is for the child to learn how to talk, describe and analyse his/her feelings. For children with feelings and thoughts that need more structured support, it is essential to get the required professional assistance.

Appreciation

A text came from a parent at a point when I was questioning the support I gave to parents, whether solicited or not, was the right choice. I was reflective and having an inner battle within myself if parents found information shared useful. When conversations or discussion take place between parent and me, there is the nod of the head agreeing to what was discussed and a thank you here and there. However, this message was so different, why you ask?; because of the timing and the effort taken to write it out. Teachers, lecturers, councillors and educators tend not to request a display of appreciation. However, if parents feel the need to show appreciation to those that support or care for their child, it should be encouraged because that act might be what is needed to add that layer of confidence to the individual.

Appreciation is not just about praise and reward but also about acknowledging the contribution a person made to solve a problem. The act of appreciation is needed in every professional field both from management to member of staff, parents to teachers and vice versa. Yes, those in education should appreciate parents that make an effort to ensure children follow the rules, regulations, policies and procedures set out by the establishment. Because in today’s world parenting is a skill that requires creativity and patience to get the right result for individual children.

“Hey Renny, I just wanted to say thank you. Every time I have seen you recently we’ve had a good chat about children and you’ve always made me feel good. We’ve been through tough times with our child with what happened with the friend and finally feel like we are coming out the other side from a toxic friendship for both of us. Whenever I chat with you, I always feel like you understand and have the same views on parenting as me. Just want you to know I appreciate that.”

To the parent that inspired this, thank you for giving permission to share.