Is Home Schooling an Option?

It has been said that home schooling gives parents more control over the influences that affect their children. With home schooling, a parent alone can decide what the child needs to do or learn. Tailoring the teaching program to suit the lifestyle, needs and interests of the child are among the most obvious options for home schooling. A child that is home schooled has the benefit of focusing more hours to the subject that may be difficult without additional pressure. Learning time is spread out based on the needs, abilities and interests of the child. The child receives more quality time in a familiar and homely environment, free from peer pressure and making choices and decisions based on needs.

Competition is great for children, but when it comes to home schooling, this is limited or does not occur. This is also the case of interaction with peer groups. When it comes to teaching style, home schooling is very one way centred. Teaching is always focused on how children learn best, which can be great. However, it reduces the child’s ability to process information in different ways that the child is not used to. A child that learns through moving objects or kinesthetic may find it challenging processing information that may include discussion or social activity.

home schooling| rent adejuwonWhen children are home schooled it allows parents the control over the moral, beliefs and ideologies instilled in their child. From a parent’s standpoint, this ensures there is no confusion in the child’s mind and no variation between what is being taught and what is being practised.

Schools are an excellent environment for children to develop different views, interact and learn something different outside their circle. However, parents that opt for home schooling are disillusioned with the system. They believe that children are being pushed too hard or too little. However, when children are in an excellent school system, they are welcome to try different experiences, activities, discipline and ethics.

There are pros and cons of homeschooling your child. Is it an option? Yes, it is if you have the time, lifestyle, finances, ability and interest to follow through with the education. After all, nobody can understand or appreciate your child as much as you.

WHAT IS GOOD BEHAVIOUR IN CHILDREN?

So much has been written about children’s behaviour or the managing of behaviour in children. Behaviour is an action, reaction, display of character or response. Good behaviour, however, is what is acceptable to the adult caring for a child at any particular time. What is good behaviour, when it comes to children? Is it when children follow the instruction given to them without any fuss or complain to the adult; Or when they are being rewarded for participating in something positive. In most cases, ‘do as you are told’, shows you are of good behaviour.

A child being described as showing good behaviour is the perception of the adult the child is trying to please. Children who are abused or groomed sexually, have been told by their abuser that when they are ‘good’ or ‘behave’ they will be rewarded positively. This scenario shows that the good behaviour of the child is based on what the adult demands from him or her. Does this mean it is right? Of cause not but in the eye of the child, this behaviour is rewarded positively. That means it must be good and acceptable. Some children are overly nice and helpful, which has gotten them into more inconvenience. A case comes to mind of a child who helped another child during an exam. The helpful child had finished her exam paper but noticed that the child sitting next to her was finding it difficult, so decided to help. Other children have been nasty in fighting off a bully, which at the time was seen as appropriate behaviour for defending themselves.

right or easy thing/renny adejuwon/rennyadejuwon.comWhat am I saying? The onus of a child showing good behaviour falls entirely on the adult. In simple term, adults are responsible for developing effective behaviour in children. A child cannot just develop good behaviour overnight, or throughout their developmental years without any definitive guide or input from the adult. Rather, s/he responds to the adult who is responsible for caring and developing him/her. Whatever the adult pours into the child is what the child bears. When a toddler swears, the adult caring for the toddler is responsible for that pattern of behaviour based on what he/she is exposed to.

Do personality and genetics plays a part in the behaviour of children? Maybe. Some parents have said ‘my child is naturally good and well behaved’ while others have said ‘out of all my four children, my third child is the most difficult.’ It can be debated that the birth position of the child, the socioeconomic level of the family, the time frame of when the child was born and many other factors affected the behaviour of the child. The debate can go on. The majority of the time, one thing is for certain. The behaviour of the child, whether good or bad, rests solely on the adult. According to Emilie Buchwald, “Children are made readers on the laps of their parents.”

Futile Makeup?

It has become a visible and known aspect of life to see children and early teenagers wearing make daily. Self-help videos of how to apply facial makeup can be found on the Internet on how to achieve the perfect eyebrow, lipstick or facial contouring. Over 10 years ago, the only place to get a professional make-up lesson was either in the photo studio or an in-shop makeup session. I must confess I have used these videos myself and found them useful but being an adult of my age makes all the difference. Some wear it to school while parents get upset when their children are informed not to wear makeup to school. They believe it is part of a daily routine of a teenage girl.

I, however, fail to differ. Facial makeup should be left until at least after secondary school when children are through the initial stage of puberty. The big fashion houses use youthful faces for their big campaign. This indicates that youthful beauty and radiance cannot be bought or exchanged and should be encouraged at this age. Not all parents believe or support that children and teenagers should be wearing facial makeup. However, some have been pressured into allowing this due to their children feeling peer pressure or wanting to feel part of the pack. I have come to realise it is easy to be part of the pack and not stand out from the pack. Parents and TeenDren that have been able to stand out positively from the pack are rewarded with better confident in themselves and feel in control of their lives. Naturally when some adolescents hit puberty, they might have acne. However, the best advice from dermatologists is to leave the skin to breathe and not covered under facial makeup. Facial make-up strives for perfection but we must remember to let adolescents understand that no one is perfect and no amount of makeup or surgery can change this. kids makeup, renny adejuwon, www.rennyadejuwon.com

Different reasons for wearing makeup:

  • Age/Maturity: for the same reason adolescents wear make-up, to look matured; adult wears makeup to look youthful and young. With the aim of the flawless look of youthfulness and reducing the look of maturity and age.
  • Scar: facial birthmark, surgical scar, wound scar or burn scar can allow for makeup to be worn. In these cases, it can help strengthen the confidence of the person with the scar.
  • Emotional Masking: wearing makeup can give the guise that everything is symphonized in an individual’s life. Sometimes it mask’s abuse, lack of confidence and low self-esteem. Individuals have been known to sleep with their makeup on or never seen without wearing makeup. It should be stressed this is not always the case.
  • Social Outing: I will say, 95% of women wear makeup for a social outing. For weddings, parties, events, ceremonies and any social outing that comes to mind. A woman that opts not to wear makeup to social outing is looked on as odd and out-of-place. The topmost richest women in the world are those in the beauty and makeup industry, work the maths out.
  • Confidence Building: as a makeup can be worn for emotional masking, it can also be worn for confidence building. Women in business or top management position have reported that the application of using a red lipstick has lifted how they felt working into a meeting, conference or presentation.

What am I saying? In my post there is time for everything, this situation fits in perfectly. Let your child enjoy the youthfulness of their beauty because the time will come when they will be wearing makeup. I remember not wearing makeup until I finished secondary school and was heading to university. My makeup application was only a lip gloss and I looked perfect. Do I still have days I don’t wear makeup? of course, I do. Those days help my facial skin to breathe and I feel liberated.

I believe this should be the case for adolescent and makeup should be introduced after secondary school. Such introduction can be a prom party, being a bridesmaid, beauty contest, modelling, acting or face painting. Children, teenagers and adolescents should be encouraged to be these. As I always say to my children “you will never be this current age again, so enjoy it.” I have started informing my daughter she will not be wearing makeup until she is 16 years old and over, God help me!

TeenDren: words combination of Teenager and Children

Why M.O.T.H.E.R’s Day?

A day set aside to celebrate women becoming a mother either through childbirth or adoption is a day not to be taken lightly. Not all female choose to become a mother. Some not by choice while other choose not to be and who are we to judge.

www.rennyadejuwon.comBeing a mother is not an easy task as the onus falls on her to have the responsibility of the child, in her care, for the rest of her life. The burden falls on her firstly, because of the biological attachment to the child for nine months. A fetus is growing in her and developing from egg to a full grown human baby. The female then goes through the pushing out of this full grown baby through a path way that is had to believe such will come out. During this process, the opportunity of being called a mother can be short lived, labelled or realised. It depends on the result gotten from seconds, minutes or hours of child birth either through still birth, losing the child; a special or learning difficulty need; or a healthy baby. She becomes responsible for this child, for the rest of her life. With the title, responsibilities such as:

Maintaining: the child in your care is part of being a mother. Maintain means to keep in the right condition, keep in existence, not letting the child become less of the person they are to become and up keep in different areas of your child’s life. A mother maintaining her child might mean, if she has a husband, to stop working or reduce her working hours. If she does not have a husband, take on more extra work or hours to maintain her children.

Organising: mother are always organising their children be it for school, weddings, parties, play, homework, family outing, play date, family reunions, etc. Having an organisation skill comes naturally for a mother. In most cases, without organisation there is chaos. For most mother, even in the chaos, they seem to know what is going on and how to manage the situation.

Teaching/Training: which mother does not teach her child because every mother teaches her child. Children learn from their parents, and most epically, when they spend more time with mother, they learn from her. A mother is there to pass on wisdom, knowledge, ideas, skills and abilities to her child. This can either be for good or for bad, which is down to the mother’s choice, most importantly as long as she is teaching her child. Not wanting to say 100% but when children are asked who taught them certain things, the response is “my mum”.

Homely: being homely is being welcoming, hospitable or hostly. Most children look forward to having their mother at home. Children know and identify that mothers are more lenient than father and it not because they choose to but because they are emotional beings. In most cases, biology will have mother cry over their children and attachment theorist such as Freud, Vygotsky and Piaget put the mother as the centre piece of child developmental theories.

Encouraging: mother’s do not like their children being perceived as unhappy, so what do they do. They encourage by supporting, being positive and building confidence. A mother will encourage her child by driving from one activity to another. In most cases, she inspires her children and coaches them to be better at the gift and talents they have. She praises her child of the good and great things s/he is doing and always want the best for her child.

Resting/Reassuring: which child does not like to rest on the bosom of his/her mother. This provides a soothing, calming and comfortable balance for the child. Showing to the child that, ‘thou I may tell you off or correct you or do not accept some behaviour you may display,’ I love you.

So why MOTHER’s day? Mothers that have harmed their children are viewed as ‘out of the norm’ or psychotic. Regardless of it being your choice or not, how you became or did not become a mother, every female creature has the tendency to be a mother, and so you are one.

Helping Children Manage Failure Positively

The word FAIL has been the acronym to ‘First Attempt In Learning’. This means the possibility of not getting things right the very first time is guaranteed. Let’s start from the very first time a baby latch on the breast. Most mothers have mentioned it took some adjusting for both them and the baby. Moving on to a toddlers’ first step, sitting up or trying a new food taste. All these instances show failing is part of the human development and journey of life, but what makes the difference is how individually we deal with the challenge. I have seen parents given up on the first try at introducing new food to children while others have gone on to successes with the right support.

As children grow, they will fail in friendship, relationships, task, accomplishment, homework, class work, sports and different types of activities. However, we as parents should be there to provide the help and support needed during the situation. The first major exams my son wrote, was the first time he dealt with failure. He did not make the marks needed for certain schools. He cried so much as this was very upsetting for him. When asked why he felt this way he indicated he had let us his parents down and felt he did so well on the day of the exam. As parents what did we do to help him during this process?fail

  1. Reassured him that he did not let us down, thou we would have loved him to make the marks needed.
  2. Prepare himself better for the next exam. Asked him what he thought were his weakness during exam, we then gave him the tools and techniques needed to improve these weaknesses.
  3. Told him, it was not the end of the world. Thou that opportunity was gone, there are more opportunities to come.
  4. Help build back his confidence. Focused and reminded him of other accomplishments he had achieved.
  5. Tell him failing is part of life but not to get stuck in it. To move on or try again at the task.

In the 2015 Wimbledon and 2016 Australian women tennis tournament, Sirena Williams has shown an A star behaviour of managing failure. Although as of when these games were played, she was the number one world female tennis played. When she came the runner-up and failed to reach the first place for these tournaments, she dealt with it gracefully. This example shows we all deal with failure, but how we deal with it is what makes us different. Helping children have an understanding of failure contribute to their output in life and seeing it from a positive perspective.