Futile Makeup?

It has become a visible and known aspect of life to see children and early teenagers wearing make daily. Self-help videos of how to apply facial makeup can be found on the Internet on how to achieve the perfect eyebrow, lipstick or facial contouring. Over 10 years ago, the only place to get a professional make-up lesson was either in the photo studio or an in-shop makeup session. I must confess I have used these videos myself and found them useful but being an adult of my age makes all the difference. Some wear it to school while parents get upset when their children are informed not to wear makeup to school. They believe it is part of a daily routine of a teenage girl.

I, however, fail to differ. Facial makeup should be left until at least after secondary school when children are through the initial stage of puberty. The big fashion houses use youthful faces for their big campaign. This indicates that youthful beauty and radiance cannot be bought or exchanged and should be encouraged at this age. Not all parents believe or support that children and teenagers should be wearing facial makeup. However, some have been pressured into allowing this due to their children feeling peer pressure or wanting to feel part of the pack. I have come to realise it is easy to be part of the pack and not stand out from the pack. Parents and TeenDren that have been able to stand out positively from the pack are rewarded with better confident in themselves and feel in control of their lives. Naturally when some adolescents hit puberty, they might have acne. However, the best advice from dermatologists is to leave the skin to breathe and not covered under facial makeup. Facial make-up strives for perfection but we must remember to let adolescents understand that no one is perfect and no amount of makeup or surgery can change this. kids makeup, renny adejuwon, www.rennyadejuwon.com

Different reasons for wearing makeup:

  • Age/Maturity: for the same reason adolescents wear make-up, to look matured; adult wears makeup to look youthful and young. With the aim of the flawless look of youthfulness and reducing the look of maturity and age.
  • Scar: facial birthmark, surgical scar, wound scar or burn scar can allow for makeup to be worn. In these cases, it can help strengthen the confidence of the person with the scar.
  • Emotional Masking: wearing makeup can give the guise that everything is symphonized in an individual’s life. Sometimes it mask’s abuse, lack of confidence and low self-esteem. Individuals have been known to sleep with their makeup on or never seen without wearing makeup. It should be stressed this is not always the case.
  • Social Outing: I will say, 95% of women wear makeup for a social outing. For weddings, parties, events, ceremonies and any social outing that comes to mind. A woman that opts not to wear makeup to social outing is looked on as odd and out-of-place. The topmost richest women in the world are those in the beauty and makeup industry, work the maths out.
  • Confidence Building: as a makeup can be worn for emotional masking, it can also be worn for confidence building. Women in business or top management position have reported that the application of using a red lipstick has lifted how they felt working into a meeting, conference or presentation.

What am I saying? In my post there is time for everything, this situation fits in perfectly. Let your child enjoy the youthfulness of their beauty because the time will come when they will be wearing makeup. I remember not wearing makeup until I finished secondary school and was heading to university. My makeup application was only a lip gloss and I looked perfect. Do I still have days I don’t wear makeup? of course, I do. Those days help my facial skin to breathe and I feel liberated.

I believe this should be the case for adolescent and makeup should be introduced after secondary school. Such introduction can be a prom party, being a bridesmaid, beauty contest, modelling, acting or face painting. Children, teenagers and adolescents should be encouraged to be these. As I always say to my children “you will never be this current age again, so enjoy it.” I have started informing my daughter she will not be wearing makeup until she is 16 years old and over, God help me!

TeenDren: words combination of Teenager and Children

Helping Children Manage Failure Positively

The word FAIL has been the acronym to ‘First Attempt In Learning’. This means the possibility of not getting things right the very first time is guaranteed. Let’s start from the very first time a baby latch on the breast. Most mothers have mentioned it took some adjusting for both them and the baby. Moving on to a toddlers’ first step, sitting up or trying a new food taste. All these instances show failing is part of the human development and journey of life, but what makes the difference is how individually we deal with the challenge. I have seen parents given up on the first try at introducing new food to children while others have gone on to successes with the right support.

As children grow, they will fail in friendship, relationships, task, accomplishment, homework, class work, sports and different types of activities. However, we as parents should be there to provide the help and support needed during the situation. The first major exams my son wrote, was the first time he dealt with failure. He did not make the marks needed for certain schools. He cried so much as this was very upsetting for him. When asked why he felt this way he indicated he had let us his parents down and felt he did so well on the day of the exam. As parents what did we do to help him during this process?fail

  1. Reassured him that he did not let us down, thou we would have loved him to make the marks needed.
  2. Prepare himself better for the next exam. Asked him what he thought were his weakness during exam, we then gave him the tools and techniques needed to improve these weaknesses.
  3. Told him, it was not the end of the world. Thou that opportunity was gone, there are more opportunities to come.
  4. Help build back his confidence. Focused and reminded him of other accomplishments he had achieved.
  5. Tell him failing is part of life but not to get stuck in it. To move on or try again at the task.

In the 2015 Wimbledon and 2016 Australian women tennis tournament, Sirena Williams has shown an A star behaviour of managing failure. Although as of when these games were played, she was the number one world female tennis played. When she came the runner-up and failed to reach the first place for these tournaments, she dealt with it gracefully. This example shows we all deal with failure, but how we deal with it is what makes us different. Helping children have an understanding of failure contribute to their output in life and seeing it from a positive perspective.

Unfinished Business

I watched the movie unfinished business. Thou the trailer focuses on other matters, it’s about a man trying to make a living for his family, through own his company, but at the same time being fatherly to his children. The movie is full of adult theme messages but ignoring that, there were several things I learnt from watching the movie. No matter the circumstance:

Pic: FreeImage
Pic: FreeImage
  • Be a parent to your child.
  • Communicate with your child.
  • Have a relationship and relate with your child.
  • Be involved in your child’s life (activities and the lots).
  • Your child is not fooled by your love towards him/her.
  • Let your child see the soft sensitive side of being a father.
  • You do not readily always have to have the answers.
  • You can choose to be involved but also choose not to be involved.
  • Be truthful with your child but in a loving way.
  • Being a parent is an unfinished business.

 

By the end of the movie, the younger child had homework about her dad and her answer was ‘Dad is the person that fix things.’ Be the parent you child can rely on.

Birthday Marathon Weekend

clownThe birthday weekend marathon is a weekend like no other, when your kids have two, three or four birthday parties to attend for the weekend. Sometimes this can be a birthday for every weekend of the month.

Birthday are special occasion that should be celebrated and children take this personal if the child happens to be in their year class, gym class or football club. Most especially when the invitation was given to them personally, this indicate a must attend for them. However, as parents, where do you draw the line? Understandably, you want your child to socialize, engage, interact and make friends outside the natural environment these friendship may have developed, but how do you choose on birthday marathon days.

Making the decision to attend all birthday parties on the same day or through out the month will result in:

  • Buying gift for each celebrant, which some parents find as extra added cost.
  • Your child not fully enjoying the full experience of the party and missing out on activities.
  • Dealing with tantrums when leaving a party.
  • Deciding what time will be best to leave during the party.
  • Changing your own personal plan to accommodate your child’s social needs.
  • The logistics of getting from one birthday party to the next, which in some cases can be stressful.

Minimising these hurdles may include planing ahead and talking with your child on which birthday party he/she will like to attend. Choosing can be a difficult task and also upsetting for the celebrant, but talking about it helps. RSVP and responding to the invitation will help the celebrant’s parent plan for the children attending. It also prepare the celebrant mentally, on which children will be attending. To minimise a birthday marathon weekend some birthday party invitations are accepted based on first come, except when your child is best friend with the celebrant.

Children birthday parties are unavoidable and should be celebrated with friends, when possible. However parent should ensure it is with joy, fun and celebration, reducing any stress the day may bring by being calm and enjoying it with their child.

Create Time

create time

Time is the most precious gift you can give to a child. Time to take them to the park, read story books, play and engage, talk and communicate, visit the cinema or museum, and take them on their various daily activities. Time is money and when you invest your time into your children, you are actually investing man hours, which is turn is money. Whatever characteristics or attributes that has  been deposited into your child is because someone or yourself spent time with him/her.

Parents are quick to say, “I do not have time” but what else do you have to give your child. It is not always about the Benjamin or the material stuff, of cause it helps. However, your TIME is the most expensive gift you can give your child. It is impossible to spend 24 hours of the day with your child, but when your attention is needed, do create the time.

  • Create time by revisiting that question your child wanted to ask but you were on the phone.
  • Create time by revisiting that TV programme your child was watching and you thought a need to revisit the subject matter for more discussing.
  • Create time, while in the kitchen or on the computer, by listening to the discussions your children are having.
  • Create time to read that bed time story book he/she has been asking you to read.
  • Create time to build that toy construction or tent house he/she wants you to play together on.

Because if you do not, you only have 12 years of that childhood experience. After which the teenage years follows. Then of cause the adulthood hits. What then do you have, memories of the TIME you spent together with your child. CREAT TIME!